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February 2023
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we’ve got time left to be crazy

Its making me sad that a post titled Total Failure is up top on my blog. So despite having both too much and too little to say, I’m dropping in. I had meant to do a year in review for 2011. I might do it anways in a little while. I do love them because they allow you to see the year as a whole and that tends to be a hard thing to do otherwise.

Bear and I have been a little homesick lately. We went to visit his mom’s for Christmas. It was an amazingly lovely visit. Bear and I played and relaxed. We had lots of good food and conversation and celebration. I’m extremely happy that I’m developing a good relationship with my mother-in-law. She’s an admirable, complex woman. I even liked the traveling to and from because Bear and I rode the commuter rail and taxi and plane together. That’s kinda sappy isn’t it?

I’ve also been a little freaked out. I’ve had many many nightmares about awful job interviews and defenses and meetings with my advisor. Every night for about 3 weeks now. Bear had to try and give me a come to Jesus talk last night because I’ve been rabbiting about like I can somehow avoid my thesis and defense and getting a job. Didn’t help that I was feeling kinda adrift because I hadn’t heard from my advisor in weeks despite sending her emails. Just found out today though that she WAS sending stuff. Apparently my school email got cut out. Apparently also, I should have said a lot freaked out. I really want to finish if only so that I can get out from under all of this mess.

(linda, I stole the lyric from fun. “the gambler” except the real lyric is we’ve got time left to be lazy.)

  • Linda

    I like the crazy instead of lazy for this blog post.
    Rabbiting is a good word. I’m glad Bear sees it and is trying to help you less rabbity. I’d a horrible person for that. Mostly because usually you’re not a rabbiter!  Also things tend to look easier in hindsight. Meaning, after you finish, you’re like what? I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner. Lots of luck. yer allowed to freak out!

  • mef

    probably. hopefully. this is my plan. so that one day i can look back and be like, jeez, what was I freaking out about.

    i know. he was kinda baffled because this isn’t like me. IM baffled because this isn’t like me.

    i love you.