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September 2022
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of sex

Imagine that there are two women (they could be men, but I am a woman, so they are women). Both have been spurned and burned and damaged by careless and careful actions of past lovers (their lovers could be men, women, both, it doesn’t matter). They have always loved each other, but as sisters do. There will never be more between them. Live isn’t like you see on tv, and there truly can be intimate friendship without sex. Realizing that what they have is precious, the two women choose to share a life. Finances, responsibilities, joys, sorrows. Getting the junk out of the kitchen sink. Deciding whether they should move to another state to support one of their careers while leaving the other’s in a more uncertain circumstance.

Where is the notch in this setup that allows something so strong to be torn apart? Sex. Neither woman has any desire, nor sees any reason to deny their sexual desires, and seeing no interest in one another seek it elsewhere. But sex, no matter your gender, leads to intimacy and sharing and can lead to putting someone else, even if it is yourself, above your partner. Now imagine that it is a man and woman, a traditional marriage in the above scenario. Imagine that the man and the woman do have sex, but somehow something happens and they have sex with someone outside that partnership. I’m not sure where I’m going with this. Sex isn’t bad. Cheating is. I had an idea for a story the other day and I was trying to find out where crux of it was. I think I found it.

But then again, that doesnt begin to address the underlying question does it? All the familial units I know (two person partnerships, not just the ones with children) are based on sexual relationships. So what is sex that it is so important that dictates the strongest bond a person can create? Two people who are in a partnership can and often do have strong friendships outside that partnership, but I don’t imagine many units break up over outside friends that are completely chaste, or at least seen as chaste. It’s again, when sex becomes an issue, that these units begin to crumble. Why? Again, what is sex that it is so important?

I know, it seems like a silly question. What is sex? Like I’m a young virgin who doesn’t understand the realities of sexual desire. Actually I think I was reading somewhere that we feel sexual desire even younger than most would guess, but that squiks me out for some reason, so I’ll abandon it. How can anyone who has gone through adolescence ask why sex is so important? It just is. Right? right?

I wish I were the kind of person who could remember quotations. I’m sure there’s a perfect one about human frailties that should go right here. Probably by Shakespeare or some other such notable observer and questioner of human nature.

  • Michael

    Sex is probably THAT important because it’s one of the exclusive privileges you get from the other person. I hate to make it into a commodity, but supposedly, it’s only suppose to remain within the couple, thus making it scarce. Scarcity makes it more valuable.

    But I suppose it’s also like any inside secret or tradition between couples. If Bob and Jane’s thing is to go eat buffalo wings on monday nights, and Bob takes one of his female friends with him instead of Jane, it seems paramount to cheating. Bob broke the exclusiveness.

    So maybe sex is important because it’s scarce and exclusive? maybe??