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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
August 2020
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Social

So the last few years I’ve treated the holidays as my chance to immerse myself in my family and in people. I go into the holidays thinking that I have MONTHS of personal time and one on one time with Bear, so I just ignore my need for personal space for the week or two weeks or however long and soak up the interaction. I usually get up at 7 or 8 and go to bed at 12 or 1 and spent every minute in there playing with my mom, my brother, my cousins, my aunts and uncles. Some of the time is still one-on-one with different people, and that’s easier. Always easier on me to interact the smaller the group of people I have around me. This holiday I ended up having lots of time with all my families except Lin. She had to share a lot of her time and I miss her almost as much as I did before the holidays.

Anyways, I come home and Bear and I clean like demons for a day. The house is only immaculate in a few places now, but overall it feels so much better. Then I end up spending a good few hours with AJ, which was awesome. We just did normal day stuff, nothing earth shattering. Eating brunch, drinking tea, errands, petting bunnies. But it was good. Great. Despite me still running hot from the holidays. Then I realize that today I have an “event” as Bear called it, with some of his work friends. This might not go as great, but wow. I’m being all social and shit. Go me.

I think I might actually be finding how to handle people again. I mean, I know that’s part of why moving up here was so good for me. I lived at home with all those people around ALL. THE. TIME. and for someone who needs alone time pretty fiercely and wasn’t getting it, it’s not surprising I was cracking by the time I was 19. Then after a few years I was starving for friends and family and people and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me again. I think I’m finally figuring out where my balance point is.