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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
January 2023
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Lost my sheep

So I found my old Xanga earlier. Usually when I read old stuff, I cringe in shame or embarrassment. But I’m reading these entries from 5 years ago and all I can think is that wow, I was snappier back then. I was more fiesty and honestly, less boring. I don’t know what happened? I’m not an undergrad anymore? I also don’t have a 45 minute commute every day. Most of those entries I thought up in the morning drive after I’d dropped Bear off. I work with the same people most days. My world got smaller is the only thing I can think. We are more stable. That’s sad? I hate that I’m boring. I don’t like it. I also blogged almost every day on that Xanga. At least, much more frequently than I did on here. Also my whole family is more stable now. The younger kids are old enough to be in school and the older kids are all out of school and finding jobs.

I was thinking about this the other day. I don’t spend time just with myself anymore. In the car I’m either with Bear or AJ or it’s only a 5 minute drive. Or I’m at school or at work. Or I’m chatting with Lin or AJ. I need this. It’s awesome to have it, but I wonder if my life isn’t doing some kind of cyclical thing. Maybe I didn’t notice because I wasn’t blogging for a while between that Xanga and starting this blog? I’m not sure. I think I’m going to start trying to blog every day again though. Or at least every other. Do wish I knew where that fiestiness went though.

Today was mostly lazy. I cut Bear’s hair for the first time! I didn’t cut him, despite all his flinches and freakouts. Seriously, I had shears in my hand and he jerks his head forward and I wanted to smack him because THAT ISNT THE WAY TO AVOID GETTING CUT! *sighs* idiot.