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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
September 2020
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full moon isn’t just for werewolves

I don’t know why, but today has been rough. I had students that refused to read instructions. I had students ask me questions that I covered in a SPECIAL LECTURE JUST FOR THEM THAT I KNOW THEY ATTENDED. I had my mom go spastic on me twice. Bear’s mom is having trouble (she’s not causing it lovely woman that she is). My brother was spazzing out. ‘A’ sounded odd on the phone. Bear isn’t sleeping. I’ve gotten a little lost in the last set of solutions I’ve got to create.

To top it all off, Lin isn’t having the best day in the world either. She was already stressed and now there are bombs going off. I hate when I give her advice and suddenly she’s up shit creek. I feel like maybe if I’d given different advice, maybe it’d have gone better. Lin I know you are going to read this, but I’m going somewhere with this. Just hold on a second. (Don’t bother commenting that you would have done whatever anyways and that you were just getting my take and I’m your brain. I know all this about you; I gave you the advice anyways. I HATE when shit goes flying so I feel bad.)

I tend to be pretty confident in life. If I say something, I’m saying it because I think I’m right. I have a lot of arrogance with regards to my intelligence. I know lots of people a LOT smarter than me or with memories that make mine look pathetic, but I also know that I can be pretty intelligent too. So when I do speak, I speak with that awareness. It means that I’ve had people get very very annoyed with me when I’m wrong because they didn’t even realize they should have assumed I might be wrong. Maybe that doesn’t make sense. Lemme give a contrast. I have a younger cousin. She was the baby for a long time, and while technically she isn’t the baby anymore, she is for our generation. She could tell you the sky was blue and people would make fun of her for saying such a silly thing before they remembered that oh yeah, the sky is blue. She’s SO often goofy and wrong and not serious that people don’t take her seriously and don’t believe her. Its the complete opposite with me.

So today, with everything going wrong, I’ve been questioning every word I type and speak. I’m just trying to get through today without growing 4 paws, fur and a snout (despite the fact that my mother might say I look pretty mean and ugly to her today).