10 rules to try and live by (coblogged with Linda)

Linda and I coblogged this in chat. Because we have pity for those who read our blogs, we have reformatted and trimmed it down. You can find Linda’s version here. (Disclaimer. I have no clue if we actually match or not, but probably reading just one or the other is good enough. ETA: Now that I have read Linda’s post I am laughing at the idea that anyone would read one of our posts and assume the other is the same because WOW do we take things differently, but the rules are the same. I understand not everyone is interested in Linda or I.)

1. Childhood wonderment is essential

I’m stealing this from Linda. She probably has a better story to go with it. My cousins are my inspiration for this rule though. They were running around and screaming and trying to make snowmen in the snow that fell in Texas on Friday. Every year, when the first snow falls for the season, I call my mom and tell her its snowing. I’ve had people get confused and think I just moved to the northeast when they hear these phone calls.

2. Sometimes having the last word isn’t the same as winning

As an older sister and a daughter and a wife, I know this rule very very well. Sometimes you get that zinger or you get that last word in. But then what? What does it do but hurt the other person? Then after the anger fades, you are a bitch who couldn’t just discuss your problem reasonably and then walk away like a mature person until both of you were ready to deal. Winning means that a situation was addressed and resolved. Not that you had a moment of superiority. Getting the last word is like having one too many cookies. Good in the moment, but gross later and it sticks with you for too long.

3. Blog about the stuff that you want to remember and not about the stuff you want to forget

Linda and I both agree that while maybe you want to write down the shitty stuff that happened to you, keep it in a personal journal. Blogs are for sharing. Make sure it’s something that you want other people to know and remember about you.

4. Sometimes you just gotta sit on the floor

Linda didn’t like this one, because when you sit on the floor, usually it means you are at a low. My take on it is that sometimes though, you just have to accept that you are at that low point, sit on the floor and just let yourself take a breather. You can get back up later. Sitting on the floor (or in my case, taking that damned-fucking-iowjifwjeofwjefi nap) is important if you want to get back up (or wake up) later.

5. Be careful what you ask for because it always fucks you up the ass later

Ok. Our one cliche of the bunch. The thing is that it’s so so true. The examples I have of this all break rule #3, so I’m going to just say that I imagine everyone has at least one example of something they thought they wanted, except when they got it, it turns out that it wasn’t what they really needed or actually wanted. Life works in funny and perverse ways.

6. Best friends are essential

Um. Duh. Linda might drive me batty, but she’s still one of my most precious miracles. I strive to never take her for granted.

7. When things go down the shitter, pamper yourself

Look, you had a bad birthday? Make yourself a cake. Your boss yelled at you? Run yourself a bath. Your husband/wife is cranky? Go open a good book or put in a good movie or make yourself some tea. Yeah, your best friends are awesome and do a great job taking care of you. Your husband loves you and that’s great. It’s still good to practice making yourself feel better too.

8. Don’t wait for growing up to get easier

It only gets worse. Pick up the pace.

9. Enjoy your body.

Don’t take it for granted. Enjoy food and smells and sounds and textures. Have sex or masturbate. Exercise. Do it.

10. Don’t use other people to define yourself

I know too many people who for some reason or another can’t stand on their own. So they find someone else that they can mimic and glue themselves to. I only know of one situation in which it hasn’t blown up into a huge ugly mess and it’s a very very unique pair. Every other time? It gets ugly. No one likes to be used, whether it be for their style or their habits or their looks or their attitude or their ability to find grace. They probably appreciate and cultivate and work hard for that aspect of themselves. Find your own style. Your own habits and patterns and abilities. You might even like yourself better.