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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
December 2022
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Wish comes true

Sometimes it’s funny how much life changes and how hard it can be to adjust to those changes while still staying the same. Inertia is such a funny thing. We can attempt so hard to ignore the changes or need for change going on around us. I think our ability to find new points of balance after the changes have swept you over, knocked you ass over teakettle, is such a bizarre thing.

I’m sitting in my living room in Texas. I can both vividly, incredibly strongly, feel the house on PR still around me while staring at this one. I can feel the microfiber fabric on the distorted, uncomfortable sage couch underneath me. I can imagine that Bear is sleeping in our bedroom around the fireplace and past the stairs down to the basement instead of directly on the other side of the fireplace. I’m sitting on our leather monstrosity that both Bear and I can sleep on here in Texas. I’m staring at our windows. It’s black outside here with no neighbors out back or street lamps, but I can still still see the streetlights and Mr and Mrs Right’s house. I’m in that in between phase that you get to when you’ve moved. Neither here nor there. Neither awake nor asleep. Twilight. The moment before dawn. I’m sick with longing for a place we decided to leave. I’m so grateful for the place we’ve made here in Texas. It’s awful and wonderful. It’s been a hard year. Genuinely deeply hard in a way I haven’t experienced in a while. Bear and I are still finding our feet. Bear and I some days are still trying to find if we have feet.

There’ve been some amazingly awesome moments. There’ve been some ugly, awful moments. I’ve been so grateful for the support and love we’ve been shown. I’ve been so grateful to know so many wonderful people. I’ve been so mad, upset, and distressed that I didn’t know how to get out of bed. I’m finding myself again though. I think one of the best signs of this is that my knitting is back. I also have a knitting group now. I have new people to find nicknames for. I have new depths to myself.

I still have Bear. I still have Linda. I still have my family. I still have my mind and my heart. I still have this blog.

Linda, the title is from the song “This is not a love song” by The Juliana Theory. I think the song came out in ’99.



to ply or not to ply?

The trouble I go through for this blog. Thursday while I was Grey’s was on I futzed with the camera trying to take pictures. Good God Almighty, lemme tell you, some days it just isn’t worth the trouble. But I got into that obstinate mood where I was hide bound I was going to take pictures of this thing I’ve been working on and post about it. But it’s been getting dark so early (I hate DST, I’ve been an hour off twice now and I miss my sunlight) that I knew if I wanted to take pictures I’d have to go to this trouble anyways. Of course, now it’s Saturday, so I could have stopped and snapped the shots this morning since it was so sunny.

So this is it. Wanna see the fruits of my efforts?

I started off with that first picture. See how the lace is all crumbled and looks terrible? I wanted to show y’all what I see in my head, but to do that I needed to stretch out the lace. So I finally found my size 0 dpns and I looped the side stitches on them and pulled the lace apart. But that made it want to scrunch down. And I couldn’t hold the lace spread and snap the picture. I had the tripod, but 10 seconds wasn’t enough to pull everything back apart and make sure it was in position. I can’t tell you how many shots I deleted. Bear was ready to pin me down and pour water on my head by the time I found something dense and small enough to hold down the top and bottom of the lace. When I get really obstinate like this, I lose my vocab and I just start storming and gesturing.

But I finally got the above shot and I almost cried. The flash reflected of the wood and makes it kinda hard to see the lace. Ahh, but I didn’t give up.

That my friends is lace pinned out on a black fleece sweater. And even better is that the sweater itself held the thin metal sticks (you just shove the bottom ends into the fleece and then bunch the top and shove the top bits in) so I didn’t need my hands, especially with the weight on the lace fabric. So you guys can see the pattern. Realize that it’s really not aggressively blocked out, so it’s not nearly as pretty as it will be, but at least you can see it now.

So now we come to the other question. I started knitting this out of singles of the rambouillet fiber I have. But then I started spinning up a new batch on the spindle and I got better and the singles got thinner and I realized I could ply this new batch and still have yarn that’s thinner than the singles I’m using now. And I no longer know what to do. Because the original plan had been to knit this until it’s long enough for a scarf, then knit the wedding ring shawl edging on it. I still won’t be gaining familiarity with the border charts, but I’m already pretty sure I could knit this shawl. And that was the point of this exercise. And I have cashmere and silk in a gunmetal gray all ready to go for the real thing…

Well. Just to show the difference in my spinning

This isn’t terribly scientific, but that pictures is the single I’m currently knitting with. Notice the size against a US penny.

Same penny. Diff single. I realize that it’s really not fair when in one picture the single is pulled taut and in the other it’s curling all over the place. Did I mention I’d already spent 2 hours playing with these photos?

I meant to show how thick the plied yarn would be… *sighs* So probably I need to figure out if I want to continue with my little scarf idea or just call that a swatch and knit the scarf idea with the plied variety or… ya know, I’m still spinning the Celebration Shetland laceweight on the wheel… And I’m kinda dying for a hat knit with some cozy thick singles… I knit a hat for Bear and my brother and my ears are getting cold in the winter weather that’s been slowly descending on the Northeast. Of course, there’s still the alpaca experiment and Bear said we could try to figure out a contraption so that I can comb inside in the winter… Oh… and did I tell you about the ~4lbs of scoured Romney locks I scored? I’ll find the website later if someone cares. It’s gorgeous.

I have way too many things I want to do. Might have something to do with avoiding the homework I have to get done. *sighs* Back to work for me.

office rabbit

Back when I first learned how to spin I was given this almost raw practice fiber (1 oz) along with my spindle and I bought a little ball of purple fiber (2 oz) because I wanted to keep learning without a big spending, and it was pretty and cheap. The rest of the wool I bought was bought on sale on ebay (8 oz of 80/20 merino/silk for a grand total of 9 bucks including shipping). But this is the story of the little 2 oz of purple wool.

I don’t have a picture of that little ball to show you. I don’t even have a picture of the rabbit as a skein, before I washed him and knitted him into a square. I don’t have a picture of the little rabbit before he was stuffed or before he left home to become an office rabbit. But thankfully, the kind Bear whose office he inhabits and guards took pictures of my little rabbit at work.

rabbit on computers

Here his is in his early days on the job. He still guards the computers sometimes from above. Better for sneak attacks ya know. He has taken many a blow protecting those computers from other office inhabitants. The worst was a pencil that went straight through his rump. Thankfully all vital areas were missed and with a little tugging he was good as new and back on the job.

rabbit guarding computers

Once he gained his reputation as a fierce guard rabbit he moved to sit on the desk most days. More comfortable (those computers are warm) and most days, just the sight of him is enough to warn off any bad intentions.

guarding Bear

This is where he sits when Bear is in the office. He can keep a better eye on the whole room and Bear this way. He prefers it when Bear’s out though. That monitor stand isn’t very cozy.


Then finally, end of day. The little office rabbit sleeps between two plants at night. Here he is glad to relax and have the day be over. I’m happy to see the little rabbit is well and happy.