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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
January 2008
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month of sick

January is getting the year off to a rough start for me. Bear and I have both been sick most of the month, and everyone knows what kind of havoc that plays on your life. Everything gets behind and then while trying to play catchup stuff gets dropped. Basically this blog and my knitting and spinning have suffered. I don’t have new pictures or anything to share. This time around it wasn’t a cold or flu for me, but I’m still not back to “normal”. But on a better note, Bear and I should hopefully both be well at the same time soon. The plants aren’t dead. And Bear and I are both chugging along.

trying not to kill angry men, picky brothers, or plants

Sorry for the two week delay. I haven’t gotten back into my normal schedule and not much knitting has been happening. And almost no spinning. And almost no tv. And I’m really not sure what I’ve been doing with myself…. oh right. the flu. and homework. research. rearranging the house. house plants.

I’m so going to show you the house plants, but first, lemme tell you about the weird thing at the gas station this morning.

For some reason I tend to get a little too excited when the gas gauge stick on my car goes under that last quarter mark. And this morning it dropped. I’m behind this big green van that decides to pull into the station. Only since it’s kinda full and a tiny little space, he can’t pull all the way in and I’m stuck hanging half in the lane. The station has two rows and you can fill up on either side of each row. I need the sides on the right because my gas cap is on the left of my car. I’m trying to nudge around him when he pulls towards the left of a row. I cheer and pull up behind the car on the right side. I’m sitting there for a few minutes when I realize a guy is standing next to my window trying to talk to me. So I roll down my window.

“You scoop me! I pull foward because I can’t make turn and you scoop me! I can’t fill up over there!” This rather short black man is gesturing wildly and shouting loudly enough that the guys (mostly taxi drivers) filling up their cars turn to stare at us.

“Excuse me, but you pulled up. How was I supposed to know…” My voice dies because he’s shouting over me.

“You can’t scoop by me! I pull forward to back up and make turn where you are! You must move!” He finally stops and stares at me.

“You pulled forward!” I’m not about to back down, the guy I was in line behind is almost done. “I thought you were in line over there. I wasn’t trying to scoop you, but you pulled up over there!” As I gesture to the left of the row, I notice the guy in front of me motioning at me. He’s done and is telling me to nudge forward (I had left a good 10 to 15 feet between our cars). I turn back and the angry van driver is gone. I sit bewildered for a moment until I realize the van is pulling into the other row where a car had left while he was shouting at me. What the hell? Neither of us had gotten an open station while we were waiting, but he was mad enough at me to get out of his car (it was around 25 degrees outside) and try to make me move so he could have “his” station, but he wasn’t mad enough to not notice the other station opening up and to move and grab it before someone else did? Good lord. I was just glad that my tank was smaller than his and I filled up and left before he did. Freaking bizarre.

So I finished my brother’s hat last week.

This is a remake of the one I made for him when he came to visit me… in August? I don’t remember when. I’ll mail this one off to him and hope it’s not too short, too long, too big, too tight, too whatever for his very delicate sensibilities *rolls eyes*.

We also have house plants! I’m so excited. I have killed house plants in the past, but I always want to keep trying. In the past Bear was very neutral, and I felt guilty, so I stopped the slaughter by not buying anymore. But now Bear wants some house plants! I have flowers and shrubbery in January!

Flowers:

And shrubbery:

If anyone has tips on keeping houseplants alive, I’d love them. I really don’t want to kill the plants. I love my plants.

New Year

Have you ever put something down because you were tired of it or because something else needed your attention or because suddenly your feelings about it changed and when the time came to pick it back up, suddenly you couldn’t? Maybe if you picked it up, it would be a nonevent. Maybe if you picked it up, you’d be thrilled to be getting back to work on it. But maybe, just maybe, if you picked it up you’d be horrified with yourself and with the work you’d done and that fear of it all turning to shit mixes up with the possibility that it might be fine or even great and it just turns into fear.

I bet there are a lot of people who would read this and wonder what on earth I mean. For them, sure sometimes you are tired and it’s hard, but it’s not a big deal. The problem is that I have bad tendency of letting my fears dictate to me. If I can’t tell how something is going to turn out and I’m scared, I avoid it. I’ve lost things and relationships and opportunities this way.

The reason I shared this with the blog? I almost let this blog go. I put it down at a point where it had gotten heavy and had gained associations with other problems in my life and then I had to walk away because something else needed my attention. Then I became afraid to pick it back up again. I almost didn’t pick it back up again. The reasons were many, but I’ve enjoyed putting my thoughts and efforts up here so that no one or someone could read them.

So I’m back. I’ll keep posting about my knitting and spinning and grad school and wedding plans which are now heating up and changing and driving me insane. I’m knitting my brother a hat (it’s basically the same hat, but the first hat was too short *snorts*). I’ve survived the dreaded lurgy. I’m writing my first paper to submit for publication. The stupid wedding date changed again for reasons that also kept changing. But it’s time to buckle down to work.