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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
September 2008
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Flinch

So I was reading on a blog today at how, seven years later, the blogger tries to avoid when she seeing or hearing the date 9/11. The blogger said it was because there is this feeling that we shouldn’t be doing things on September 11th. Soccer games shouldn’t be scheduled that date for example. That it seems wrong. Maybe obscene?

I wrote a check yesterday and when I went to write the date, I wrote 9/10. Because I obsessively analyze things, I’d noticed this tendency in myself since the first anniversary of 9/11. And when I read that blog entry yesterday I tried to think why I had trouble writing the date. Why I’ve had trouble writing or hearing or seeing the actual date. I don’t think we shouldn’t have class, or soccer games. I think we should. I realized I’m treating it the way I do wounds.

I was in a car wreck when I was 16. I had just gotten my driver’s license a little bit before (maybe a few months, I can’t remember exactly). I was driving down a busy road behind an ambulance. Neither of us was speeding and the traffic was moderate. I was passing a side street that was on my right when a car comes speeding down and slams into the side of my car. The front of it hits the right side of my car, towards the rear. We were lucky it didn’t hit me hard enough to push me across the lanes into oncoming traffic. No one was too hurt. The ambulance drivers stopped, were witnesses, and kept the driver of the other car from climbing into my car to stop me from calling the cops. My car was still drivable, although damaged. An accident yes, but not a terrible one. Yet I still flinch whenever I pass a side street on my right and I’m in the right lane. Still.

So while I will continue to keep living and enjoying life, no matter the date, I’m not surprised that no matter how often I hear or see or write September 11th, I flinch. I just hadn’t realized I’m not alone.