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I had a meeting this morning so Bear had to wake up an hour earlier than usual and it’s been warm here and I won’t let him put in the ACs, so he’s not been able to sleep early because it’s been kinda warm. So. Bear was a little tired when he got up. But he did and got dressed and got into the car and told me he wanted to take a nap and I said that was fine. About 10 minutes later: “There are lasers coming out of my teeth and shooting. Ching Ching Ching.” Considering it’d been quiet except for his jpop playing pretty softly I was pretty zoned out. “There are fireballs coming out of your teeth??” “Lasers. But that’s ok. It doesn’t matter anyways. Keeping thinking I’m sane so I can believe you.” “Nononono. LASERS????” “Yeah. Ching ching ching ching.” I dissolved in giggles. It was very hard driving. Bear opened his eyes and looked at me. “And when you crash the car I can use the lasers to cut out us. They’ll come with the jaw of life and they’ll see the lights and the car’ll fall apart in pieces.” “YOU ARE CUTTING US OUT OF THE WRECKED CAR WITH YOUR TEETH!?!?!?” I was CRYING with the laughter at this point. “With the lasers from my teeth. Ching ching ching ching.” I think at this point he figured out it was him making ching ching noises to signify the lasers COMING OUT OF HIS TEETH that was absolutely destroying my ability to function. Satisfied, Bear sat back and closed his eyes again. We were almost to his office anyways. 1) I suck at blogging. I realize this. I have lots of things to post about still, but I haven’t the … time, energy, emotional capacity,… I’ll get there. 2) THIS. GOD. PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO COMPARE THEM??? My favorite part is where the author talks about Stephenie Moore knowing nothing about vampires or werewolves. No shit. 3) I HAVE LITTLE BABY GREEN TOMATOES. LOTS OF THEM AND EVEN MORE FLOWERS. I HAVE ALREADY TOLD EVERYBODY I CAN AND I AM STILL SO EXCITED. I also found out (remembered? was retold?) that Carl hates tomatoes. Clearly mom stole him from the mailman because he was so cute. He was a super cute baby. Clearly it was a trap. 4) My brother has called me almost every evening this week on his way home from work. I feel special and loved and wanted and lucky. I have a really sweet brother. Who doesn’t like tomatoes. 5) Bear and I suck at birthdays and anniversaries. It’s official. 6) Homemade crepes are damn fucking tasty. Why should this baffle Bear? He is so weird. Why does it feel like everything hurts lately? I think it was only a tiny bit of time ago when things felt so good. Now it just hurts. Stupid hurts too. I feel like I was flailing and hit my elbow and my whole arm is radiating pain, but I also feel so stupid too. I’m not the only one hurting. When I say everything hurts, I don’t mean me. It’s like everyone I talk to right now has their own pains and hurts and we are all so tired and down and we are all having trouble holding each other up when we don’t have the strength for ourselves. Probably I’m just tired. I let myself think and then read a sad story instead of a happy one. Also, how can you gladly miss someone? Like my head and heart agree with each other but not with themselves. Probably when the missing them is less pain than the being with them. I remember being 16 and having a full blown panic attack in my room. I’m being melodramatic, but right this second I wish I could be back there instead of here. This is me on less than four hours of sleep during a rough time I think. Promise I’ll be less crazy tomorrow. |
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