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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
August 2009
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Crushing gratitude

I’ve been talking about Bear a lot on here lately. Probably I should just give up and admit that I will always talk about Bear a lot on here. I admire Bear. I respect him. I love him. I find him endlessly entertaining. I find him comforting and frustrating and motivating. There are times I hero worship him a little. I mean, it’s nicely balanced by the spitting frustration I get when he takes off his socks right when he comes into the house and leaves them on the floor where he took them off, but it still happens.

Today I needed to ask him a question and tell him something and when I picked up the phone to call him I got a funny feeling. I was giddy. This probably doesn’t make sense, but I was actually giddy because I CAN call him. Even though he’s at work and even though he’s coming home later. I think it’s because for a long time phone calls with Bear were events. Carefully thought out and planned and expensive. Then, later when they weren’t expensive they still weren’t appropriate a lot of the time.

It’s funny realizing that even though you are married to a person, and have been in an acknowledged, celebrated relationship for years, you can still get giddy over having the privilege of being able to pick up the phone when you need to ask them a question. I hope this feeling never ever goes away and that 20 years from now I still get moments where it hits me that he is in my life and when I need him, if he’s not already right there, I can just pick up the phone and he’ll answer with “Hi Em.”