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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
January 2010
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Love if you want it

We’re going to see the house again today. In the snow no less this time.

Buying a house is hell for a million reasons. I still keep wondering why it isn’t more fun than this. Bear gets satisfaction figuring out how he wants to fix/change the house to make it more us while we wait. I think I feel really unsettled by the realization that none of the furniture he’s looking at really does anything for me. It doesn’t help, apparently, I’m horribly ambivalent about furniture and Bear refuses to leave me out of it. Which means every time he checks with me about a table and chairs or buffet or sectional I get that awful tight feeling in my chest. I don’t know. I do know our house is cute and casual it its layout and design. It’s a 1950′s ranch. The current layout and structure give it a light, bright, airy feeling. Ornate doesn’t fit on it. Heavy doesn’t fit it. Bear of course then gets upset when I tell him his taste is too formal because then I’m putting words and meaning in his mouth. We’ll figure it out I’m sure. I’ll probably also figure out why I don’t like any of the furniture we’ve looked at sometime.

When we got up this morning though, I realized that the house has personality to me. A good one. I think we can really make this home and be happy if we can just figure out what we are doing and not bankrupt ourselves in the process.