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March 2010
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R-E-S-P-E-C-T spells “Don’t trash my loved ones”

I have a strained relationship with my father. This is no secret. It’s been full of ups and downs. I’ve lately been trying to figure out why a certain event caused a brand new schism in our relationship.

Last night Bear told me that he’s glad we only have a week left until my mom comes to visit. Don’t get me wrong, Bear loves me and his momma with a special amount of fierceness, but he likes my mom and he never is unhappy about her visiting. I also realized that for all my brother and Bear don’t talk a whole lot, they both think it’s cool when they do have something to talk about and they do have the opportunity to hang out. I also have always known that Bear and Linda share a special kind of love for each other. Bear spends an inordinate amount of time fretting over her and 90% of the time that she spends thinking about him, she’s thinking about making him blush. None of these people initially liked/loved/appreciated each other. I think, especially in the case of my mom and Bear, that some thought I was cracked for loving the others as much as I do. My brother thinks my mom actually disliked Bear more than she ever let on. And then it hit me. I deeply appreciate it when people who love and respect me, respect my choices in life and appreciate that if I love someone, there’s something in them to love. It’s a special kinda gravy and chocolate that they all have found their ways to love each other, but at least in the beginning, they respected my love.

I have realized that one of the things I need in life is respect. Clearly one of the first things that makes me think you lack respect for me is to rip apart the people I love. I’m not the wisest person, but I’ve been through enough crap to see people for who they are.

Aint no sunshine.

I think we’ve had 2 days of sun since we moved into the house. Considering that Bear and I have adjustment issues, the lack of sunlight is not helpful at all. (We also traded in our car for a new one with cargo space. Bear named her Victoria. It fits.) Since I don’t have pictures of the last week of rain/snow/hail, I’ll show you pictures that we took almost exactly two weeks ago.

That’s our backyard in the morning. That’s not how it looks this morning because this morning while we did have some snow, it’s been more of the rain/snow/hail variety and it’s been warmer (45 degrees right now). There’s dirt and plants and rocks and leaves from 4-5 months ago. Amazingly similar though is the lack of sunlight and the general gloominess.

This was in the evening. I think we had about 10″ of snow in our front yard. We shoveled the front walkway and a decent chunk of the driveway. (Those are Bear’s footprints btw. He was carrying something from the car and getting the shovel.)

Also, to end this on a note that isn’t sharing the gloom that has been over New England the last two weeks, I’m going to show you the results of Bear’s paranoia coupled with my determination.

This is what happens when I am determined to go up into the attic and Bear has worked himself into an honest to goodness tizzy about insulation and asbestos. Our house was built in ’55 and has had renovations done since then. Plenty of people have clearly been up in that attic. I told Bear not to worry about the asbestos and that I was going up in that attic. I do have to say, at least I wasn’t itchy from the insulation afterwards.