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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
August 2022
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little bird. fly away from here.

Why does it feel like everything hurts lately? I think it was only a tiny bit of time ago when things felt so good. Now it just hurts. Stupid hurts too. I feel like I was flailing and hit my elbow and my whole arm is radiating pain, but I also feel so stupid too. I’m not the only one hurting. When I say everything hurts, I don’t mean me. It’s like everyone I talk to right now has their own pains and hurts and we are all so tired and down and we are all having trouble holding each other up when we don’t have the strength for ourselves. Probably I’m just tired. I let myself think and then read a sad story instead of a happy one.

Also, how can you gladly miss someone? Like my head and heart agree with each other but not with themselves. Probably when the missing them is less pain than the being with them.

I remember being 16 and having a full blown panic attack in my room. I’m being melodramatic, but right this second I wish I could be back there instead of here. This is me on less than four hours of sleep during a rough time I think. Promise I’ll be less crazy tomorrow.