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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
August 2019
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Initial

It turned out that poor Bear couldn’t pick his car up until today. He worked from home so that he would be ready when the car was ready and our dearest lovely neighbors took him to the dealership and Mr Right rode home with him.

When I got home he drove us to dinner in celebration.

It’s really amazing to think we are a two car family now. To think that Bear will drive himself to work instead of riding with me. To think that on days where I’m working from home, I won’t have to take him to work.

Today is a really happy day, but also the tiniest bit of a sad one.

Voracious escape

So I tell people I don’t watch “a lot” of TV. I say this because sometimes, I don’t. If you consider how many hours I spend with motion picture entertainment vs textual entertainment or work, it comes out at the bottom. There are seasons or years where I didn’t really watch anything.

I do watch more television than my father though. He doesn’t own a TV. He doesn’t have a netflix account. He spends part of his year without reliable electricity or internet. So no matter what, when I compare myself to him, I do watch “a lot” of television.

So, since I’m such a voracious consumer of brainless mental escape, here’s the shows that Kevin and I have been watching this fall (all links are wikipedia):

Grimm
Once Upon a Time
Big Bang Theory (If you want the actual cosmological theory, you gotta google “big bang” apparently)
Top Chef
Revenge
Booth at the End (Hulu)
Spy (Hulu)

Are you also a consumer of brainless mental escape? Do you also call all visual entertainment/education “shows”? (This drives Bear insane. My documentaries are also “my shows”.) Have you seen any of the shows I’m mentioned?

What is up with my use of quotation marks in this post?

you’re a fraud

I’m still knitting the big black sweater.

00003

Progress.

Now for content. So I read this blog post that this introvert wrote. It’s an author with 2 blogs and a twitter account. She was writing about how much she SUCKS at responding to comments. Sounds pretty funny huh? But when I was reading it, I totally totally got where she was coming from. I know what it feels like to not click with lots of people and to not know what to say even when you do click. I know what its like to find going to the grocery store exhausting. Not because you can’t walk around a store, but because there’s PEOPLE. That SAY things to you. That you have to make EYE contact with. It’s just. so….I want to say tiring, but it’s like you’ve got this place in your gut that starts to hurt when you hit your limit and the more you keep interacting the more it hurts until you want to cry and curl up in bed. And sometimes you push yourself so much your whole body hurts from holding itself tense and you get a migraine.

The days where I have three of my family members warring and all three call me to bitch about the others, I feel like taking the phone off the hook after talking to two of them. I doubt they’ll ever realize this, but when I actually start shit, it is NEVER lightly. I like arguments, but it’s hard to deal with a bunch of them at once, even removed over the phone.

I finally realized that most people don’t find going out in public and talking to friends, coworkers and family members in any way difficult. It drove me crazy growing up because I didn’t get how everyone else did it. My mom had a lot of reason when I hit the teen years to think she was raising a raging bitch. I would get these waves of uncontrollable anger and discomfort. It’s easy now to relate some of it to the days when I’d come home from high school exhausted and there’d be five people home and she’d want …something. To go shopping or to hang out. God. Even now thinking about it I can feel how trapped and panicky I used to feel on days like that and we were so good at hanging out and being friends back then. Now I just gots me and Bear in the house and if I can’t deal then I just let the phone ring. Knitting helps too.

Well, except that I’m pretty sure I screwed up the armholes on that sweater back up there.

(Brain. Don’t take any of this personally. I mean it! You give more than you take, even when you think you are just taking. I was just thinking after reading that blog post. Hell, you know when I’m exhausted and go into hiding and I tell you why. Title is from Do Better by Say Anything.)

Pajamas for the win

I love working from home. But strangely it doesn’t look all that different from working at work. I don’t have a blanket, but I do have one of Bear’s huge fleece sweatshirts. I sometimes don’t have coffee because I don’t always wake up early enough to make coffee. I don’t have two linked monitors, but that day is coming. Sadly, they might never match what I have at home. Bear spoils us technologically. I usually have tea instead of water at work (weirdly I have almost all my tea at work and almost none at home). I have a bigger desk at work! I always have Linda and TAL. I EVEN keep my knitting on my desk at work. But the advantage of home? The killer thing about working at home? I’m still in my jammies. :)