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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
August 2022
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Need the smell of summer

Bear and I are chafing to get to Spring. We want the big thaw. The bulbs to shoot and the daffodils to carpet the yard in yellow. Unfortunately, the blog will be a bit boring unless Bear accommodates us all by being entertaining.

I’m keeping my sanity (while I work work work) through a few simple things:

New dinner ware set. (And COFFEE. The cup was rinsed hastily for it’s photo shoot.)

A very pretty note (in content and looks, can’t get better than that) from a lovely person who I am honored to call friend and family.

Tea from China.

I finished the waist shaping on the back of my sweater!!! (As much as I look at those waist decreases and wonder if they are a little dramatic, I am ignoring them. FINISH FINISH FINISH.)

(Gilligan, the title is from “I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light” by Brand New. I picked it because I heard the lyrics this morning and was like. YESYESYEYSEYSEYES OMG YES. Full line: “The time has come for colds and overcoats. [...] I need the smell of summer, I need its noises in my ears.”)

Pajamas for the win

I love working from home. But strangely it doesn’t look all that different from working at work. I don’t have a blanket, but I do have one of Bear’s huge fleece sweatshirts. I sometimes don’t have coffee because I don’t always wake up early enough to make coffee. I don’t have two linked monitors, but that day is coming. Sadly, they might never match what I have at home. Bear spoils us technologically. I usually have tea instead of water at work (weirdly I have almost all my tea at work and almost none at home). I have a bigger desk at work! I always have Linda and TAL. I EVEN keep my knitting on my desk at work. But the advantage of home? The killer thing about working at home? I’m still in my jammies. :)

For the monarch

I didnt post yesterday because I keep thinking, omg, how much whining can I do in a week? Apparently the answer is a lot. I’ve been hanging on twitter and spamming blogs because y’all, today was fucking fantasticly sucky. After Monday and yesterday (which, it was just yesterday, but I spent the ENTIRE day working on something that was FANTASTICALLY SIMPLE BUT I AM AN IDIOT). So that was fun. Today, the homework is due. The homework that I created and am going to grade. I have no finished the solution for the second homework I am supposed to create. So I went in (despite feeling ragged) because I knew there were going to be a ton of questions. There were. I think we got a new question at least once every 15 minutes. Mostly the professor answered them. I also had a kid scoot in to ask me a question right before 4 (which is the end of the time period I told students they could stop by).

All of this would have been fine. I would have worked on my solution and hopefully gotten most of it done and it would have been fine. Wasn’t to be. Because the second of the two homeworks is going to be assigned tonight since all the kiddies are turning in the first one tonight. But I get an email from the prof saying that my third question doesn’t work. There’s only three questions. I kind of stressed myself out of my mind this weekend and Monday putting together these questions and figuring out what these kids were supposed to do. She raises a… possibly not valid question, but I’ve got to answer it. I got to tell her why and I honestly am not sure. I have no CLUE. I twittered “I AM NOT SMART ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT PEOPLE.” Because I DON’T KNOW. (I’m about to blubber all the tech shit. Ignore the rest of this paragraph.) I don’t know whether the CPI number for the CISC instruction version of this code is valid or even if the tools that we’ve made available will pick up on the difference between the CISC and the RISC implementations. The tools suck, that’s one part. The other part is that even if the ISA differentiates between CISC and RISC, the actual hardware implementation takes those pretty CISC instructions and breaks them down anyways. But I don’t have anything that will give me actual numbers for anything. For execution time, for CPI. Nothing. So whatever. I came up with a way to ask the students! And then I realized that was horrific and I tried to take it back but the professor liked it! *sighs* I’ve been feeling teary since then. And sad. I feel so stupid. Stupid stupid.

I’m tired. I’m cranky. I’m hormonal. I feel so dumb. I feel hideous. I want this week to be over. I want to stop being so self centered. I want to stop being so whiny.

But my friends are going to have a baby!!! I am so excited. Her middle name is going to be Korean for butterfly. They aren’t sure how to spell it yet (Nabee, Nabi, or Nabie). She isn’t even born, but I won’t put her full name on a public blog. If you want to give your vote, email me and I’ll give you the full name.

while we were laughing and smoking and drinking

Today started off rough and got worse. Got up, took Bear to work, went to the post office and home to get my shit and ran back to school to meet a new guy because his installs on his personal laptop aren’t working. Walked in to find out that he just left for “class” despite telling me that his class didn’t start for 40 minutes after I showed up. I swallowed that down, because if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have gone in today. I ended up answering a lot of questions about an assignment I created for a class that two students I’m in the lab with are taking, so I’m telling myself it was worth it.

I then started working on the next assignment I’m giving (thankfully I’m only giving two). The last one, creating the assignment went pretty well and was fun except for figuring out exactly what to ask. This one, just figuring out what the assignment should cover or how it should cover it was hell. The tools I have available BLOW in terms of documentation. One is so bad I think the creators and collectors for the different tools don’t even understand the concept. I spent hours just figuring out which stupid Pin tools do what. I’m still not sure whether one metric I want is available or if I’d have to create my own tool (not doing that). Some of these tools give numbers and I’m like…. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN SIGNIFY? And gprof failed me. The program we want the students to work on it too short for it to get actual timing for each of the functions and if I make them use a longer version it defeats the point of using this program. So I’ve spent an increasing amount of time glaring and huffing and growling at my computer screen while I work my way through what feels like three billion different tools that are all undocumented and some without any kind of readable LABELS trying to piece together enough information to ask the students for any kind of analysis of the assembly they are supposed to deconstruct.

In the middle of all this my mom tells me that IE doesn’t work for her anymore. I spend a lot of time fighting with her to get logmein set up on her computer (omg, how did my mother forget how to figure out the USERNAME for her account on her laptop???? how did she not already KNOW IT???????????). Eventually I log in and start poking around with IE and realize that the pages that have the most trouble use java, but I can’t click any links and I can’t click buttons and I was losing my mind. Finally I was like, I don’t know. I asked Bear to check it out and he said, you can’t install anything either. So I tried, and it’s fucked. I thank Bear for spend half an hour during his workday messing with my mom’s computer and I call her back. I tell her, do you see this isn’t working? It’s worse than you thought. And she says (I have it on my phone, she actually said this) “The cat did it.” My response: “That is not acceptable mother.” It was at least worth a shocked giggle I guess. My brother got about a million IMs during this going, “where is our mother’s brain?” and “I’m going to kill her.” His response was to make sure I didn’t make a mess. I really do thank God for giving me my brother. Bear and he are my boys.

So yeah. I’ve now racked up more than 24 hours playing with assembly instructions and really frustrating tools for this assignment alone and I haven’t written a solution yet. In addition to my mother acting brainless and like a 5th grader, I had a new labmate stand me up. I can’t tell if I’d be more frustrated if I’d found out he never showed than knowing he showed, he just decided not to stick around. But I really really want to do something that WORKS right now. I just don’t know what. I’m worried if I try to read, the story will be bad or silly or not make enough sense for me right now and I’ll just combust from the accumulated frustration.