Its making me sad that a post titled Total Failure is up top on my blog. So despite having both too much and too little to say, I’m dropping in. I had meant to do a year in review for 2011. I might do it anways in a little while. I do love them because they allow you to see the year as a whole and that tends to be a hard thing to do otherwise.

Bear and I have been a little homesick lately. We went to visit his mom’s for Christmas. It was an amazingly lovely visit. Bear and I played and relaxed. We had lots of good food and conversation and celebration. I’m extremely happy that I’m developing a good relationship with my mother-in-law. She’s an admirable, complex woman. I even liked the traveling to and from because Bear and I rode the commuter rail and taxi and plane together. That’s kinda sappy isn’t it?

I’ve also been a little freaked out. I’ve had many many nightmares about awful job interviews and defenses and meetings with my advisor. Every night for about 3 weeks now. Bear had to try and give me a come to Jesus talk last night because I’ve been rabbiting about like I can somehow avoid my thesis and defense and getting a job. Didn’t help that I was feeling kinda adrift because I hadn’t heard from my advisor in weeks despite sending her emails. Just found out today though that she WAS sending stuff. Apparently my school email got cut out. Apparently also, I should have said a lot freaked out. I really want to finish if only so that I can get out from under all of this mess.

(linda, I stole the lyric from fun. “the gambler” except the real lyric is we’ve got time left to be lazy.)