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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
October 2021
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proper attitudes

I have 9 first order theorems (I think that’s what they are. This class has me so lost. So so lost.) to prove (Why am I proving mathematical theorems in a computer science class? Why do I have to take a stinky computer science class and why is computer science really about applied mathematics?) before 3:25 pm tomorrow. I have no pretty or interesting or even boring knitting to show.

The mittens have stalled out at the thumb gusset for the second mitten because the last two days have been warm and I keep forgetting to shove some waste yarn in my purse or backpack so that I can move the thumb stitches to the side. This means no knitting has been has been happening in those odd moments while I’m waiting for Bear to be ready to go or while my brain is untangling some thought or proof. (Usually my hands are busy churning out homework or code or reviews or something until my brain hits a stall and at this point I can (1) either go play on the computer, (2) I can knit and stare at the homework or code or paper or whatever, or (3) I can shove that to another spot on the pile and pull out the next thing on my to-do list. Option 1 sometimes turns into a time suck; Option 3 happens a lot, but sometimes switching topics like that will only make things worse.)

All I’ve got is a cinnamon scented candle (I may be doing really bizarre-o proofs, but I wanted some holiday spirit), some rapidly burning coffee in the pot, my pencil, my eraser, 2 notebooks, one textbook and about 3 webpages on theorem provers and first order logics.

And seriously, as a grad student are we supposed to be so excited about what we are doing that we are happy to spend all the time in the world working on this stuff? I had a class (same class where I’m doing this proofs) where the prof was out (at a conference) and we didn’t have a proctor, we were just supposed to meet and talk about some stuff. Now, we are in grad school, so it is completely reasonable to expect us to meet and actually talk about what he said to talk about, but our normal class is 95 mins. I thought we’d be out of there in 30-40. Enough to satisfy the requirements, get what we needed to, and go back to doing the mountain of work we all have to do. We were there for 120 minutes+. Why? Why????? It was late. I wanted to go home. Sometimes I’m not sure I have the proper attitude to be a grad student…