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emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
January 2023
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Wish comes true

Sometimes it’s funny how much life changes and how hard it can be to adjust to those changes while still staying the same. Inertia is such a funny thing. We can attempt so hard to ignore the changes or need for change going on around us. I think our ability to find new points of balance after the changes have swept you over, knocked you ass over teakettle, is such a bizarre thing.

I’m sitting in my living room in Texas. I can both vividly, incredibly strongly, feel the house on PR still around me while staring at this one. I can feel the microfiber fabric on the distorted, uncomfortable sage couch underneath me. I can imagine that Bear is sleeping in our bedroom around the fireplace and past the stairs down to the basement instead of directly on the other side of the fireplace. I’m sitting on our leather monstrosity that both Bear and I can sleep on here in Texas. I’m staring at our windows. It’s black outside here with no neighbors out back or street lamps, but I can still still see the streetlights and Mr and Mrs Right’s house. I’m in that in between phase that you get to when you’ve moved. Neither here nor there. Neither awake nor asleep. Twilight. The moment before dawn. I’m sick with longing for a place we decided to leave. I’m so grateful for the place we’ve made here in Texas. It’s awful and wonderful. It’s been a hard year. Genuinely deeply hard in a way I haven’t experienced in a while. Bear and I are still finding our feet. Bear and I some days are still trying to find if we have feet.

There’ve been some amazingly awesome moments. There’ve been some ugly, awful moments. I’ve been so grateful for the support and love we’ve been shown. I’ve been so grateful to know so many wonderful people. I’ve been so mad, upset, and distressed that I didn’t know how to get out of bed. I’m finding myself again though. I think one of the best signs of this is that my knitting is back. I also have a knitting group now. I have new people to find nicknames for. I have new depths to myself.

I still have Bear. I still have Linda. I still have my family. I still have my mind and my heart. I still have this blog.

Linda, the title is from the song “This is not a love song” by The Juliana Theory. I think the song came out in ’99.

Pink and black and blue for you

For a while now Bear and I have talked about moving. We’ve talked about moving to Virginia. We’ve talked about moving to Florida. We’ve talked about just moving a town or two over from where we are now. In all of this, we’ve never talked about moving to Texas. It’s too conservative. It’s too hot. It’s got lots of crazy people.

Then about 7? months ago or so, there were rumors that Google Fiber would be moving to Austin, TX. Bear turned to me and said “How would you feel about moving to Austin?” I long ago had thought that if Bear and I ever moved to Texas, the only place that we’d really want to be was Austin. I thought I had given up the idea though until Bear said that. I flipped and after talking about it for a bit and Bear talking to some of my family about it, Bear and I started looking for work. There seemed to be plenty, but we weren’t having much luck until my bff sent my resume to her HR department.

I’m skipping over a lot of frantic planning and scrambling, but now Bear and I are frantically packing up our house and asking ourselves if we are insane on a near daily basis. As crazy as this news is: Bear and I are moving to Austin.


all the people on the street

I have a sad story that culminates in a flat tire. A flat tire that I was sure had something wrong with it before it went flat, so much so that I took it to the dealership (where I bought the tires) and said, “I think there is a problem, can you please look because I don’t want to drive on it until it’s checked out.” They told me everything was fine so I drove to work the next day. I got to work fine, despite freaking out that the tire was still shaking/vibrating and making the flap flap flap noise. I had just gotten on the freeway to go home though when the tire popped.

At that point I was very shocked and disturbed. It seemed weird to me that I noticed a problem, had it checked out, and then the tire went flat. I pulled over, called roadside assistance (like AAA), called the dealership to make ANOTHER appointment. Then the guy came to change my tire. He was very suspicious when I told him it was a new tire. He was very surprised when I told him I’d gone to the dealership yesterday and had been told that there was nothing wrong with my tire. He told me that it looked like my tire had been damaged and possibly plugged and the plug had blown. I told him no way because I just bought these tires new.

Once he was done, I called the dealership back and asked to talk to a manager because at this point I was very upset. I explained the situation and how now I was going to lose a deposit I had at another dealership on a car for Bear and the manager was very dismissive of the idea that my tire problem might have had anything to do with him or his dealership or his mechanics. At some point I started yelling and he ended up giving me a rental and taking my car. When I was called to let me know the car was ready and had a new tire, I asked about my visit on Monday. I was told that there was “no way I could have been driving with a hole in my tire” so clearly I just picked up something that caused a largish round hole. I will share the picture tomorrow.

I argued with the guy when I went to pick up my car and got told a lot of bullshit that made me feel like a child. “The probability is that you ran over something.” “You clearly just want me to say that my guys did something wrong.” “The vibration and noise is unlikely to have had anything to do with the fact that the tire popped and went flat.” “There was no light on when you brought the car in on Monday.” “There’s a little sensor on the rim of the tire, if something had been wrong with your tire, the light would have gone on.” This would have been the end of the story. The manager at this dealership is kind of a jerk, they didn’t pay attention to the fact that there was something wrong with my car because there wasn’t a light that told them something was wrong, I ended up not having to lose work or pay for the rental myself. I walked away. My car isn’t vibrating/shaking/making noise. I had 2 really shitty days, but that’s life.

Last night I go to get the mail and in it is a letter from our dealership. It contains the bill sheet thing that has the writeup from the Tuesday night to Wednesday night time frame when they had my car, including the manager’s write up of the fact that he provided a rental and road hazard replaced the tire and “% is that customer picked something up on the freeway”. Taped to the bill sheet was $40 in gift cards to a gas station and $20 in gift cards to a coffee shop. Handwritten was a note that said something like “Sorry for the inconvenience.” I can’t make out the signature to know whether it was the manager. I know it wasn’t the service rep that dealt with me when I bought the tires. It makes me feel dirty and stupid all over again.

Now I’ve written out the whole incident. Written up a timeline that I shared with one of my uncles who is of the opinion that the dealership screwed something up. I’ve gotten their write up of the incident and now I’m posting it here for posterity. I feel sick and angry all over again just writing this. I also have a tiny bit of me that feels guilty because I did yell. There IS a chance that correlation in this case isn’t causation and I upset other people for something that they didn’t do. It’s a whole mess and I’m hoping now it’s really over. I also hope I don’t need to state that I’m never going back there.

(Rainbow Oreo, the title is from the song I Hate Everyone by Get Set Go)


It turned out that poor Bear couldn’t pick his car up until today. He worked from home so that he would be ready when the car was ready and our dearest lovely neighbors took him to the dealership and Mr Right rode home with him.

When I got home he drove us to dinner in celebration.

It’s really amazing to think we are a two car family now. To think that Bear will drive himself to work instead of riding with me. To think that on days where I’m working from home, I won’t have to take him to work.

Today is a really happy day, but also the tiniest bit of a sad one.