Contact Me

emmy [AT] curious-notions {dot} net
December 2022
« Aug    

trust you love me too

So I had this big post planned for today. Except that yesterday I got 5 hours of sleep and it’s gray and raining. Basically all I want to do is either watch Sherlock and spin or curl up with Bear and a million blankets and read. I have gorgeous fiber and books to assist me in either activity. I have a ton of work to do.

All of this means that the big post is gonna have to wait. Maybe for next Tuesday. Especially since the feet post didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped. I’m feeling kinda frustrated with myself for that.

I often have ideas of how things are supposed to turn out in my head. Then when it comes time for me to create them, they never do work so great. I’ll lay in bed and the words are AWESOME, but I get to the computer and I can’t remember the order they went. I can’t remember the crucial bits. Sometimes I work really hard and it almost comes back as good.

This happens with my code (work) and spinning/knitting too. It’s always better in my head. Things have an extra dimension of possibility before they take form that makes them better than reality.

The relief from this? The things that aren’t directly formed from my imagination are always better than I expected. Relationships and happenstance always treat me better than I could imagine. So in the grand scheme of things I’m pretty content. I’d always rather my frustration come from giving birth to my imagination than from the people in my life (including myself) being unhappy.

know where I want to go

So yesterday I showed my new shoes. Today, I’m going to share a little secret. Bear’s feet and mine have a love affair. Sometimes I feel bad for our feet. Their marriage was arranged.

photo credit

They didn’t get to date other feet really. One day, they were single feet who slept only with their fraternal twin for company, then they were stuck with this other pair of feet every night.

It’s a hard thing to be feet. You are walked on all day and get sweaty and socks and shoes often aren’t comfortable. I make sure my feet get a warm bath every night before I get off them for the night. Bear doesn’t treat his feet even that well though.

photo credit

Now though, all of the awkwardness of new someones is past and our feet play every night. Finally the heavy weight of our bodies is off them! Some nights are sweet and my feet rub his gently or his rub mine… not so gently and all four warm each other up. Other nights they fight! One foot constantly trapping another, toes grabbing at ankles and feet dragging calves into it to immobilize the whole leg, and toes poke and prod.

When its time to settle, our feet find some comfortable way of resting together: hooked at the arches, ankle blade between someone’s toes, or one foot resting on top of another.

photo credit

I think when they part again in the morning, they immediately begin looking forward to the next meeting.

(Brain, the title is a lyric from “First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes)

“More pylons required” lacks flair

Last week Bear and I were basking in the glow of having actually improved our house and having hired a really great person to take on that improvement. At one point I said to Bear, “Upgrade complete!” and he didn’t say anything but I figured oh well. Then later that night we were laying in bed and he said something again about how great it was to have this done and I again (because it’s all I can think) repeat “Upgrade Complete!” This time he either hears me or gets it because he cracks up. Then we have a discussion about how SC/SC2 applies to real life before falling asleep.

A birthday party with 15 kids and 1 adult: “Spawn more overlords.”

Right after we had that “Upgrade Complete” notification we got the “Mineral field depleted.” message.

Now we want to upgrade the gutters: “Need more minerals.”

When we are hungry and the fridge only has mayo? “More Vespene gas is required.”

Bear commented that his company seems to keep getting the “Spawn more Overlords.” notification despite the fact that their army is weak.

The next time my little cousins attack me en masse? “Your base is under attack.”

Instead of saying, “Ready to go.” it should be “In the rear with the gear.”

My favorite Bear conversations always tend to be as we are laying in bed falling asleep or when we are waking up and getting ready to go in the morning.

aside the lions and the ladies

I had the most fucked up dream last night. I couldn’t fall asleep and I couldn’t fall asleep and I freaked myself out thinking someone had broken into our house. Nevermind that I sleep just fine on the nights that we leave windows open. Finally I fell asleep and I started dreaming. I would swear to you that I had this dream going on for hours. I don’t give a shit what people say about not being able to have a dream that is connected for most of the night. I do it.

So I starts off that I’m driving through mountains to visit this tiny town that lives in a isolated valley. It sounds like a bad movie script. I get there and I’m staying with these people and I’m supposed to be learning from them? It feels like I was learning spinning but I distinctly remember competitions and computer stuff and games.

Someone’s board broke and we had to replace it before we could continue. There were pieces that weren’t competition and we just learned from them. At our terminals. Clearly my brain is crazy. But this is how the dream went. And I had a partner there. He wasn’t Bear and he wasn’t Carl. I didn’t travel there with him? I don’t know. But I remember at one point he stayed out of a leg of the competition and it was a big concern.

Eventually the whole town needed to travel to another place. I remember this felt like some kind of an emergency? So we are all walking and the partner dude gets stuck to the side of a hill.

Like, the ground comes up and traps him. And it starts raining? And water shoots out of the ground? I think this was the emergency. So anyways I’m really concerned about getting the partner out of the ground and the rest of the tribe is thinking they’ll send this one guy. He’s the most…good? person from the village. Because inherent goodness defeats ground that can swallow and trap people. Right. So he goes to free my partner dude and he gets thrown to the ground… by the ground? I dunno. It was bad. The village people freak out that my partner is one of the evil things. And I start creeping along the side of the hill to try and free him myself because I don’t want to tell the village people how I know he isn’t evil. But water starts falling on just me and the village people notice and I have to explain that I know he isn’t evil.

So apparently a couple hundred years ago, there weren’t people running around. There were just these creatures:

(That’s a depiction of Tiamat.)

And there was one black one and he was evil and a bunch of white ones and they were good and then there were a ton that didn’t know what they were. So this one white one battles the black one and swaps their heads thus defeating the evil. Or incorporating it into herself and forcing the goodness from her head into the evil. So whatever. Not defeated, just spread and shared. And that’s me and the partner dude. We hatched out of the creatures with the swapped heads and have been just fine ever since. No ramages of evil or random miracles coming out of asses. We are sometimes together and sometimes not.

So I’m explaining all of this to the village people. It was more that I was told them who we were. They already knew the story? That’s when the partner bursts out of his earth cage.

And I woke up. And all day today I’ve been grouchy and it feels like something is pushing into my left eye. Some days I’m pretty sure I’m kinda crazy.

(Linda, title is from The Trapeze Swinger by Iron & Wine)